“My name is Matsuda Wataru, I’m a successful lawyer working for a top-tier firm. In most people’s eyes, I might be seen as a winner of the game of life, but I don’t feel like a winner at all; since in some aspects of my life, I feel like a sore loser. You see, I had to lose and give up on many things to win this game. My youth was one of them.
Back in high school, Mariko was my madonna. Cheerful, sweet, and beautiful; adored by everyone as the school idol. A girl the likes of me couldn’t even dream of approaching.
To be honest, I don’t think things would’ve been different, even if I confessed back then. I’m pretty sure I didn’t have the slightest chance with her, so letting her know my feelings, wouldn’t have changed anything. But still, I’ve always regretted not doing it. It’s just human nature. As long as the chance is not zero, people always wonder: “What if…?”
I check my appearance one last time in the mirror, making sure I’m looking pristine, just like I always do before going to court, a conciliation or an arbitration.
“Haaah… Fuuu… Calm down, this is no different than a conciliation! You’ve done it a million times… this is no different!!… Haaah… Fuuu…”
As I look at myself in the mirror I breathe deeply, trying to convince myself this is something that requires the same set of skills that qualified me to reach my successful position in life… while at the same time, trying to calm my fast-beating heart.
“Haaah… Fuuu… Calm down, even if worst comes to worst, at the very least I’ll take the opportunity to confess, so I won’t longer regret it… Haaah… Fuuu… Even if I “lose” this (case), the opportunity to close this chapter of my life is priceless!!… I need to see it as an important life experience!… Haaah… Fuuu…”
I can’t deny I’m nervous, this is my first Omiai, after all. I feel the same as when I had to defend my real first case in court… No!!… I’m lying… This feels far more frightening!!… After all, I’m facing the most terrifying foe: My high school crush, and if things go wrong, there won’t be a third chance. No court to appeal, no further instance to go. If things don’t go well, that will be the end of it.
“Haaah… Fuuu… Calm down! Stop overthinking!… I didn’t expect this opportunity to come; I should see it as a gift. I have nothing to lose and everything to win!… Haaah… Fuuu… Here goes nothing!!”
I turn away from the mirror and walk to the door to face my destination. As I do so I try to think I’m turning away from my regretful past to face head-on what could be a bright future…
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